MuckFlash

Billings, MT -26 Feb. 2009- Staff. An ultimate frisbee quarterfinal tournament in rural Montana took an ugly turn when several drug addled participants suffered injuries on the playing field.  The tournament, though officially sanctioned by the Ultimate Players’ Association, the national governing body for ultimate frisbee, had an unofficial regulation which rewarded teams with the most players under the influence.

This rule, while disavowed by the UPA, was confirmed by several sources at the scene.  One bystander, who spoke on condition of anonymity, confirmed that nearly all of the players on the eight remaining teams were drunk, high or a combination of  both.  ”Frisbee players have a bit of an underground culture which lionizes violence and drug use,” the source continued. “These people are like 50 Cent with 120 gram discs in one hand and a great big thermos of pimp juice or whatever in the other. The drunkest team is given a special award at the end, no matter what.”

UPA spokesperson Ari Fleischbach was quick to distance the organization from the event, despite the official sanction.  ”We’re not responsbile for the conduct of individuals.  It is against UPA rules to play under the influence, and any players that are found in violation will be ejected from the tournament,” he said.  Fleischbach would not comment on the allegation that UPA rewards teams for intoxication.

Still, there is no system of testing or enforcement provided by the UPA, and the situation in Billings proved to be more than a minor nuisance.  In one game, five players were injured when one player caromed drunkenly into a group of others who had erected a defensive human pyramid on the field.  In another, one player who had written “Buffy” on his naked chest began to attack other players with a splintered croquet stake.  In yet another incident, an overly aggressive defender brought a wooden bat onto the field and threatened to “Babe Ruth the ass” of anybody attempted to pass.

All told, 15 were injured to varying degrees.