MuckFlash

Los Angeles, US -30 March 2009- Staff. LA’s jet-setters have often inspired debate by pushing the envelope of art, fashion and public decency, from drug-fueled, plaid-wrapped rampages through nightclubs to elaborate, messy canvases painted with feces and menstrual blood. As those at the top of trendy continue to resurrect colorblind vintage clothing and justify million dollar advertising campaigns inspired by 1970s pornography, however, a so-called “Hipster Reactionary Movement” has spawned a bizarre new image building technique- dating vagrants and drifters.

“It’s about damn time we took back cool from the ego smacking trustafarians who have turned it all into a vapid hunt for the ‘authentic’ through mounds of thrift store bullshit and D list artists who are irrelevant outside of Facebook,” said Steve Sloan, self-declared homeless dating trendsetter.

Sloan, a minor art dealer and sometime performance art producer, claims to be one of the first to have begun fighting against what he calls a “towering, self congratulatory inferno of holier-than-thou commentary and indy music dick measuring.” In an effort to “bring substance back to the empty affectations of Hipsterdom,” he decided that he would eschew the ironic meta-commentary of the cool by bringing a stark token of reality into LA’s elite circles of taste and style.

Rather than a simple wardrobe change or straight forward volunteer work, though, Sloan began to pass his free hours at the LA County Free Clinic, several AA meetings and the few homeless shelters and soup kitchens that allowed him to eat regularly. “It was only a matter of time before I clicked with somebody,” said Sloan, “It’s all about the common humanity, the common pathos that keeps love blind.”

Indeed, after only two weeks, Sloan was in a serious romantic relationship with Leanne Shilsky, a 43 year old widow and recovering meth addict and alcoholic. Shilsky said that Sloan was off-putting at first, but that his sense of humor and general warmth convinced her that his feelings were authentic. “You don’t get too many second chances after the places I been,” she said. “Stevie keeps me warm and night and that’s enough to go on right now.” Sloan has also allowed Shilsky to move into his studio apartment and has loaned her several thousand dollars to pay off debts and finish her phlebotomy certification.

Sloan’s new romantic interest has been the talk of LA’s chic circles, as he and Leanne have been prominently flaunting their passion at the city’s most expensive restaurants and exclusive clubs. Though some question his feelings for the recovering addict and onetime indigent, others have begun to emulate him, packing ultra hip clubs with the homeless men and women they meet on the street, in charity clinics and elsewhere. None, however, have achieved the same notoriety.

“Those poseurs can do what they like, but what Leanne and I have is real. And I had it first,” quipped Sloan.