MuckFlash

Washington, D.C. -17 Nov 2009- Amid rising criticism of its domestic and foreign policies, the Obama administration today faced yet another new front opening up in the ongoing partisan war of words. The “Sub Heard Round the World” came as former GOP Vice Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin challenged President Obama directly to face her in a contest to see who could eat the larger portion of a 96 inch submarine-style sandwich.

In remarks made just after a foreign policy driven interview with ABC’s Barbara Walters during which she accused the President of “dithering” over Iraq and Afghanistan, Palin further declared that she would “destroy him two feet into a contest. A contest to eat an 8 foot bologna sub. If you’re listening, I challenge you. That challenge with the sandwich is for you, President Obama.”

Though many experts doubt that the relatively large gap in body mass between the taller, more masculine Barack Obama and the slender Palin would allow her any chance of success, conservative pundits cautioned against underestimating Palin. “The media will of course take the side they always take, but let’s not forget that Sarah’s a fighter,” said Rush Limbaugh, a noted conservative commentator. “You better believe she’d throw herself at that sandwich and not stop attacking until the American people were heard.”

“Challenging the President of the United States to a submarine sandwich eating contest is ludicrous,” countered Democratic strategist James Carville. “Even if she were a match for him pound for pound, Obama’s physical appetite is outstripped only by his appetite for substantive reform in Washington. Sadly, it’s become obvious that Palin, and the Republican elite in general, simply can’t cope with the issues without resorting to exaggeration and misinformation.”

According to a fact-checking document published by the Associated Press, Palin may have, in fact, monopolized the competitive eating circuit in and around her home base of Wasila, Alaska for many years in the mid to late 1980s under various pseudonyms. Archival documents from Wasila refer to a female competitive eater matching Palin’s age and physical description entering contests under the aliases “The Motherly Maw” as well as “Pit-bull Jawbone.” Though the last known reference to either eater scoring a victory was during 1988′s Alaskan Statewide Meat Stuff-a-Thon Contest, sources close to Palin suggested that she still could devour up to two whole chickens in a single sitting “without any major stoppage.”

The challenge only adds to the confusion surrounding Palin’s recent book release, and observers are still waiting for a response from the President. White House Press Secretary James Gibbs could not be reached for comment.