MuckFlash

Galeton, PA -22 April 2009- A park aid in central Pennsylvania was terminated by the Pennsylvania Department of Parks and Recreation after numerous complaints that the content of his nature walks, signs and printed materials were inappropriately sexual.

Charles Etragner, 37, worked at Prouty Place State Park for over 10 years, but his recent series of wild flower walks and pamphlets on local flora led to his bitterly contested ouster last week. Etranger insists that his termination was personally motivated. “‘Stiff Lilies at Dawn’ led to record attendance at Prouty Place,” said Etranger. “The chief ranger never approved of me taking this place into the next century, and he got rid of me to make himself look better.”

In addition to his nature walks, Etranger wrote and self published a pictoral calendar, featuring himself and other park aids as “Spirits of the Forest” posing nude with seasonal floral arrangements, as well as a serialized guide to Pennsylvania wildflowers, entitled “Earth’s Arousal: Tender Blossoms for Every Season.”

Todd Bishop, chief ranger at Prouty Place state park, condemned Etranger’s ‘modern’ take on the longstanding state park tradition of hosting nature walks for guests. “A state’s recreation facilities are no place to test new artistic ideas,” he said. “People come to relax, and it’s not a place to shock or surprise. Can you imagine taking your family for what you expect to be a restful stay in the great outdoors, only to find some sick individual flyering your RV for an event called ‘Luscious Midnight Petal Strokes’?”

Further, Ranger Bishop insisted that Etranger’s termination was entirely based on his unprofessional conduct. “We received many complaints over a long period of time, and after a formal investigation and review, the Pennsylvania State Parks Review Board voted unanimously to remove Park Aid Etranger,” Bishop said.

Complaints about Etranger included local resident Edna Stevens, 56, who camped regularly at Prouty Place and attended several of Etranger’s “Flower Passion” series of evening walks. “It wasn’t just the flirty words, it was his whole manner on the walk,” she remarked. “I’m fine with a little fun in the title, but when somebody insists on standing behind you and helping you touch a flower to feel the ‘pulsating life within,’ that’s just uncalled for.” Since filing the complaint, Mrs. Stevens has not returned to the park. “I won’t go back until I can be sure nobody will be comparing flowers to the ‘pert bodies of supple young forest nymphs’ ever again,” she said.

Mr. Etranger has already filed suit against Pennsylvania Parks and Recreation and is confident that he has a legitimate case of wrongful termination. “I’ll fight this all the way to the Supreme Court,” he said. “I’m only being punished for not conforming to somebody’s cold, lifeless interpretation of nature. You can’t fight passion.”