MuckFlash

Padua, IT -27 April 2009- In a last ditch attempt to maintain purity and decorum in their small, rural village, a group of elderly Italian town council members has voted to bar any structure from having any barrier in an entry or exit. In an ufficiali decreto legge affixed with the seal of the council, the effective government of the 300 person village of Il Vecchiagio, just north of Padua, decreed that any structure which contained “any implement with the function of obscuring from view space with the potential to contain immoral or illicit conduct” to be in violation, punishable by “forcible remodeling of the residence and indefinite surveillance by an appointed overseer of the council.”

“The children grew up missing a generation and so lack the morals and respect to live as decent families should,” said Concetta Bisciaglianni, who introduced the measure to the council. “You cannot trust these young people to keep the filth out of their homes, so we will sacrifice their privacy to return our homes to a state of purity.”

Younger residents, however, were less enthusiastic about the measure. Alessandra Pettachi, a 35 year old service station attendant dismissed the action. “The old fools are afraid of anything that casts a shadow,” she said. “Just because they can’t enjoy themselves any more than a soggy piece of pasta, they want to curse everybody with the same wooden fate.”

Although a few have approached members of the council with reservations about the legality and enforceability of the new regulation, most seem to agree that neither those who support nor those who oppose it will emerge a clear winner. Giovanni Giunglia, who has lived all of his 92 years within the walls of Il Vecchiagio, summed up the general consensus: “They do what they like with the laws; we all still eat tomato sauce in the evenings.”