MuckFlash

Riga, LV -30 April 2009- The Latvian government has taken all the usual measures to battle the global financial meltdown, including giving banks cash bailouts, adjusting interest rates to control inflation and encouraging institutions and individuals to spend and invest. As consumer confidence and the public’s overall faith in the country’s financial future continue to dip, however, authorities have commissioned an unorthodox program to reignite Latvian’s citizens enthusiasm for risk, financial and otherwise. Beginning next month, a government funded bus will tour the country offering a range of heavily subsidized prostitutes to all comers.

“The crisis is not just financial, it’s social and emotional,” said Utsav Riklanin, Latvia’s Deputy Minister of Finance. “We must address the nation’s state of mind before we can begin to fully recover.” The program will employ over 300 prostitutes for six weeks, offering a variety of services for a fraction of the usual street cost. Including these per item subsidies, the campaign’s budget is expected to exceed US $500,000.

The bus, which will branded as the “Your Country Loves You Back” tour, will transport regional ‘teams’ of prostitutes in a series of criss-crossing stages across Latvia, making stops at every town with a population above 5,000. As an added twist and marketing gimmick, the bus will also make a special “Econo-rection Party” stop at any buildings which display a special banner which is obtainable only after securing a business loan of US $5,000, conducting a successful IPO or buying more than 500 shares of any publicly traded Latvian company.

Despite a few raised eyebrows, residents are largely looking forward to the program. Piotr Doveskaya, a bartender in Riga, expects that the spectacle generated by the bus will be enough to buoy local economies as it goes. “You can imagine something like this won’t happen very often at all, so people will come and make a party,” he said. “I am sure many of them will end up at my place sooner or later.”

Mr. Riklanin hopes that the program’s success will encourage other government agencies around to world to think creatively despite the dire economic conditions. “Innovation is the only thing that can save us now,” said Mr. Riklanin.